I have come to the point where, when I see one of these articles shared on social media, I skip right over it. Sure these articles may make some good points, but really, if you sat down and sketched out the man described in these articles--the man who does all of the things the articles say he should and does not do any of the things the articles say he should not--you would get Jesus. And last I checked, He isn't walking around, looking for a girlfriend. These lists bother me because they create a set of expectations that are not necessarily realistic. Newsflash: no person is perfect. And quite frankly, I don't think we need lists to tell us that certain habits or character traits are not healthy.
You have all read a lot about my relationship with Aaron. Did he fit every description from every article? I have no idea, but I doubt it. Did that affect the way he loved Jesus or the way he love me? No. And now that I am back to a place of singleness, now that I no longer feel like a "widow" and feel like a single, 28 year old woman, I do not need a list to tell me the kind of man I should be looking for, the kind of man I should be praying for.
To me, it's simple. When I prayed for Aaron before we met, I simply prayed that God would send me someone who was equipped to be the spiritual leader of my household. I prayed God would bless him. I prayed that God would prepare both my heart and his to be together. And voila! I didn't check Aaron's characteristics against any list. I checked his characteristics against my faith. He was a Godly man who had a real relationship with Jesus and he loved me, provided for me and was good to me. Why does our list-obsessed society think we need more than that?
I'll be open and tell you that one of the items on my list during this 21 Days of Prayer is the family God promised me. I am in absolutely no hurry, and I trust God's timing completely on that. But I am praying that God is drawing my future husband into a deeper relationship with Him. I am praying that God will bless my husband and give him favor. I pray that God will send the person into my life who will love me, lead me, and appreciate that Aaron is part of who I am. I pray that when that day comes, my heart will be ready.
That's all. No lists. No "10 Things I Pray God Will Give Me in a Husband." If you need a list, here it is: your spouse should love Jesus and he should love you, both with his whole heart. If he does, his actions should reflect that. If they don't, then use discernment in your relationship.
Someday the person I have prayed for will come into my life, and when he does, I won't need a list to know it.